


Never Knew

by Try2CatchMe



Series: Sanctuary 'verse [14]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Gen, M/M, Pre-Slash
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-12-18
Updated: 2012-12-18
Packaged: 2017-11-21 10:21:05
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,508
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/596591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Try2CatchMe/pseuds/Try2CatchMe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I am called Samandriel, the angel of imagination, but I never truly knew what I was patron of until I came to Earth and saw through human eyes."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Never Knew

**Author's Note:**

> Whoops, I accidentally philosophized.

"So, Cas and I had a talk earlier..."

This was already the most awkward conversation he'd had with Samandriel and Adam was only eight words in.

To his credit, Samandriel seemed perfectly unawares of the awkward that was about to ensue, looking over at Adam with only curiosity in his perpetually wide eyes. "Really? What of?"

In an effort to give himself a few more seconds before actually having to _have_ this conversation, Adam turned his attention to the sink full of soapy water in front of him, meticulously scrubbing out a cup. Before lunch could actually happen, they needed clean dishes and apparently his barbarians of brothers had only washed the bare minimum of dishes necessary for breakfast and totally ignored the rest of the dusty dishware in the cupboard and the soaking mess retrieved from the refrigerator. Adam was considering tossing that lot in a biohazard bag, to be perfectly honest.

Yes, this was all perfectly normal for a nineteen year-old male to be concerned with, he grew up making sure the house was clean more often than not and some things just stuck, okay?

"He said you're not resting enough to get better and you keep using your Grace and making it harder for yourself to heal." He managed to cut a look over to Samandriel just in time to see the angel pause a second in drying the plate in his hands.

(Yes, Adam was washing, Samandriel was drying. Yes, it was very domestic. Yes, Adam was trying _really, really_ hard not to think about it.)

Meticulously, Samandriel wiped away the stray moisture on the ceramic in his hands and placed it on the drying rack. "It's truly not as dire as you make it sound."

"Well I don't know, I can't _see_ it, can I?" Adam took a deep breath through his clenched teeth, easing his grip on the cup he held. Fortunately, it was plastic. Unfortunately, there was now a long crack in it. He lobbed it in the trash can. "You should have told me."

"Why? There was nothing you could do."

The angel clearly was just curious and didn't make it sound like an accusation at all, but it still irked Adam, "Maybe not actively, but if you'd told me, I would have known to be worried when you fell asleep, to not let you heal the cut or the broken nose or use Jedi mind tricks on the Sheriff."

Samandriel looked deadly serious now, "I do not want you to suffer."

"There are levels of pain Samandriel, it's the kind of stuff I can deal with. You're still recovering from being _tortured_ for crying out loud!" Admittedly, the broken nose would have _sucked_ , but still.

Adam scrubbed viciously at a weird-looking stain that probably wouldn't come off no matter how much elbow grease he used, but his eyes were stinging oddly and he had to concentrate on something.

He just didn't know how to make Samandriel _understand_ , he was all Adam had. Sure, his brothers were there, but he didn't trust them, not really. They were pretty damn single-minded about each other and, family or not, he was pretty sure he'd never get in on more than a fraction of that. And who the hell knew about Castiel?

And then here was Samandriel, an angel who stuck around in Hell for kicks to drag his shredded carcass out, who inhabited the body of an anti-social fry cook and was scared of Pop Rocks. If anything happened to him...

A full-body shudder racked him and was only stilled when a hand landed against the back of his neck. He started slightly, but calmed when thin fingers moved through the tender strands of hair at the base of his skull. Planting his hands against the rim of the sink, he braced himself as those gentle motions elicited a shiver of a decidedly different sort.

"I do not wish to see you hurt at all, Adam," the angel said softly, like an admission.

The human let the air leave him in a huff, meeting Samandriel's eyes, "I don't want to see you hurt either. Why is it okay for you and not for me?"

The angel's lips quirked up in a self-deprecating smile and he turned his eyes to look through the window over the sink. "It's odd, you know. For an angel, I mean. We all used to think, _I_ used to think Castiel was different somehow, fundamentally. He _cared_ so much, there was so much _heart_ in him. We followed him because our Father resurrected him twice, clearly he had His favor. I'm afraid we elevated him to a status he couldn't possibly live up to, though he tried. We couldn't fathom what he saw in humans. He always credited it to Dean Winchester. We never understood, but now?"

He made eye contact again and Adam had to swallow at what he saw in Samandriel's gaze.

"Now it's all so simple and still so overwhelming. In Heaven, everything is fact. But after speaking with Alfie, holding your soul, travelling with you, I've learned that fact is little part of life. Humans, you can _see_ that. And you can show it to us and millennia of doctrine are suddenly meaningless because of what we are see through your eyes."

He let his hand slide from Adam's neck, "There is so much _wonder_ in everything, and after an existence of only fact and science and math, the beauty in the most mundane is overwhelming. The ability to feel responsible for a life because of the person who holds it, because they show you something of life and yourself, it's all so new."

Scoffing lightly, the angel dragged his hand through the soapy water, watching it part, "I am called Samandriel, the angel of imagination, but I never truly knew what I was patron of until I came to Earth and saw through human eyes. The sheer amount of knowledge angels have versus the wonder and imagination of humans, it's no wonder Castiel did what he did, no wonder my own safety is nothing, absolutely _nothing_ compared to making sure you live on. This is what my Father wanted us to learn. Imperfection will always strive to improve.

"That's what Free Will is, you know. Humans seek to better themselves. The selfish seek betterment through elevating themselves, the selfless see betterment in aiding others, and there are those who do nothing because they believe death will show them something greater and they need only wait for it or instigate it themselves. And for everything humans must do, there is no formula, they must think, they must imagine, they must put aside pride and ask help or they must put aside empathy and take without remorse. Humanity is _infinite_ , infinity is in every single soul, there is no formula for your lives. You must make your own and there is no greater freedom."

And all Adam could really do was stand there (standing only because his knees were locked and he was still leaning against the sink) because _did the angel just tell him the meaning of life while they were doing the dishes what the actual fuck?!_

There was really only one logical response to that.

Grabbing the dish soap, Adam lathered up his hands, then carefully drew them apart so there was a sheet of iridescent soap suspended between his fingers. Once he saw he had Samandriel's attention, he called upon years of practice (and boredom, and trying to tame the devil spawn he'd babysit sometimes for extra cash) he blew a bubble.

Samandriel lit up like a Christmas tree doused in kerosene.

"This is what I mean." He said, holding out a hand. His skin was still dripping wet with water and soap so the bubble landed without popping. "In heaven this is a mere cleaning agent. Humans, though, humans will create rainbow spheres out of it."

Adam snorted lightly, scooped two fingers of suds out of the sink, and smeared them across Samandriel's cheek. Who knew the stuff of children could show the world to an angel?

"Don't go putting me that high up," he said instead. "However much you think I'm showing you, you're doing more for me. Don't go killing yourself on my account. I couldn't take that."

Whoops, did he say that out loud?

Adam cleared his throat, trying to ignore the look Samandriel was giving him, "After we kick those three out of here, you're resting until you're better. Right?"

The angel wiped the soap off his cheek, blank faced, "Right."

Then he swiped a handful of suds from the sink and shoved them in Adam's hair.

Eventually, Dean, Sam, and Castiel would come in and look at the soaking wet kitchen, interspersed with soap bubbles, and not quite know how to react when they'd see Samandriel kneeling on Adam's back, stuffing handfuls of foamy white bubbles down his shirt.

Until then, Adam grabbed the spray hose from the faucet and added it to his artillery.


End file.
